So Beth and I went to the Supermall for Memorial Day because I looked like a hobo in my threadbare and dated clothes, and Beth needed some enabling in her life. We learned a special lesson in how old we are, too.
First we got our dresses from the dress shop. Surprisingly (or not), and in complete contrast to how well we were treated when we were buying, while picking up said dresses, the staff was kind of curt and "whatevs." Beth thought it was chintzy that they had a steamer but did not offer to steam our dresses, and especially my wedding dress. I kind of agree. Consistency may be the hobgoblin of little minds, but it's really a fundamental value for retail.
Then we headed to the Supermall, a place designed to make minds go loose. We first hit Nordstrom Rack, where I bought a pair of $100 (discounted from $275) Cole Haan booties. And seriously, I kind of had to because they were Cole Haans, a detail in an old John Hughes column that made such a deep impression on Ray he once mentioned it and we managed to turn it into an inside joke. Obviously the hottest shoes are Cole Haan shoes, or something.
Anyway, those boots, though not necessary this time of year, replace the utterly useless stiletto-heeled black suede boots made by a white devil. The bottoms were made of cardboard, which in this weather soaks straight through. So although they were cute as hell (and did not have the name of that evil man emblazoned all over them) I had to give them up. The Cole Haans appear to be much better made.
Nordstrom Rack is a seriously disorganized mess of a store. I know it's by design, or buy design. But they could try a little harder because I got wore out the minute I left the shoe section. Also, their cashiers aren't uniformly bright. I pointed out three $7 eyeshadows I was getting to the chick checking me out and she still didn't ring them up. Oh well, they were getting shed of them anyway. I made a good faith effort, anyway.
Now, I can't talk about every item I got because we'd be here all day and even I can't do that. But suffice to say, Beth and I discovered how old we were when we went into the Liz Claiborne outlet. Beth was all, "We're too young," and I was like, "But that red polka-dot dress is cute," and she was all, "well, then let's see what we can find," and I was all, "This dress is $40? Maybe I should try it on?" and I found Beth and was like, "Is this totally boring for you?" and she was like, "I started a changing room already. The shirts are cute and $7.50."
Needless to say, I got the dress and we both got some cute shirts.
Beth tried to justify liking Liz Claiborne because Isaac Mizrahi designs for them now, and I'm pretty sure Tim Gunn was recently brought on to freshen up their look. But I've seen Isaac's stuff in Target and it's either for ironic skinny young women or non-ironic old women with no in betweens, so I'm not cutting him any breaks for being "youth oriented." No, I will give it all up to Tim Gunn.
Funny, I did not get the things I was looking for — cute shoes I can walk around in a lot while on the honeymoon and semi-technical capri-style pants for biking on said honeymoon. Because biking will happen, I swear.
I had a bubble tea and she had a pretzel. Auntie Anne's now puts calorie counts by all their pretzels and it scared Beth into only eating one. Me, I'm pretty sure the bubble tea was a nightmare of faux fats, sugar and tapioca starch. But it's all good because I am working out like a maniac. On Tuesday I did Levels 1 and a bit of 2 on the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred DVD after the Yoga mat I got off-gassed significantly (it reeked). I will give her props, she is motivating and the exercise is pretty good, even for a first level. Only problem is, I am straining something in my legs every time I work out, something between my ankle and mid-calf, and all the jumping jacks don't help. I was about to die in Zumba from the pain tonight. What, see a doctor, you say? Pfft. I don't trust doctors. They just want to take your money for your two-minute visit and can't solve your problem.
Besides, I probably just need new kicks, like I was going to get while shopping on Monday but didn't find.
Unfortunately, I may yet need to go shopping again within not just the year, but the next few months.
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