What ambient Christmas music would sound like? Or what protools layering and digital rejiggering might do to seasonal music?
Wonder no more.
So gross. This year I was actually wondering if techno+carols could = stuff that does not annoy at the mall/airport/grocery store. I guess I was wrong. Besides, it must be hard to create a new way of envisioning a holiday "mood" that does not have those specific referants to the season — the sleighbells, I suppose, is what I mean there.
We are all condemned to hear that "Wonderful Christmastime" song for the rest of our lives. Or "Greensleeves." Or whatever holiday novelty song you are doomed to hear in your own personal hell. Along with that "I'm a bitch!" "empowerment" song. How did a song with the title "Bitch" end up being appropriate for soft rock stations? I ask as I'm listening to it in a very cozy, homey cafe.
Speaking of bitches, I finished MoDo's "Are Men Necessary?" and was kind of surprised to have her ending the asking with a big thing about Hillary Clinton. I'm not exactly sure what that was all about, but with all the things that actually have a chance of disappearing in the world and all the things that really don't have anything to contribute to the world at large, here is a list of nouns that "Are _____ necessary?" might apply to better.
Frogs (they're disappearing at a rapid clip. Maybe we better not justify their existence before they go)
Holiday songs
Individually wrapped cheese slices
365 of Racheal Ray's recipes in one place
undeveloped beachfront properties
cafes sans free wifi access (no! they aren't!!!)
Thomas Kinkade paintings
Thomas Kinkade "illuminators"
Thomas Kinkade-inspired "novels."
payday loan centers
unwaxed floss.
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