Deciding what to get someone who likely has gotten just about everything they need for their baby is hard. Or is it? After a baby shower for Oona yesterday, I was left with the impression that a new parent can never have enough onesies and baby blankets.
I strive for minimalism in all things except information, which is why I hoard every scrap of paper the bank sends me for record keeping and magazines and papers and books piled everywhere. So the amount of crap a new parent needs to assimilate into their life seems astonishing. There are these things that lock onto doorknobs so kids can't open them (or adults, for that matter). There are nose-suckers and nose drops and all things nasal. There are diapers and the various accessories to either the culture of wanton waste that they represent in the form of a $29 enabling diaper genie or pins and de-stinkifying hampers for cloth diapers that are part of a service.
All the toys are insanely flashy for babies. Is it stimulation, really, or is it just setting them up for ADD? I played with those active stacking blocks little Willa will have — they're crow attractors with all the shiny foil and colored beads. What happened to plain wooden blocks? Does Playskool have a deal with the Ritalin makers?
Speaking of misbegotten stimulation, apparently Target is selling low-rider pants with lace-up fronts for toddler girls. It's nice to know that Britney Spears and her demon spawn will be able to match — BS with her thong showing, demon spawn with her diaper hanging out. Isn't it nice that kids can learn to put their sexuality on display before they even have sexuality at all?
Perhaps the thing that makes me think our culture is full of crap the most, however, are the strollers. They look like SUVs and they have cupholders. I never go out anymore without seeing the double-wide strollers, too. They take up the whole sidewalk, even though that shouldn't be necessary, because of all the shocks and extra-wide tires and kid-covering apparati and the spoilers and all (made that up about the spoilers). They even run down inline skaters. Seriously!
It astonishes me that the U.S. has such a consumer-driven baby thing going on. It seems like kids are useful tools for marketers — and not just for sugary cereals. Too much about our fears go into designing hideous Escalade strollers and too little into making sure all children have health insurance. Too much goes into promoting brain stimulation and too little into allowing for the baby to come to grips with not being entertained constantly. There is a lot of money in diapers, but not a lot in quality childcare. Shouldn't the richest country in the world pay the people who are caring for its kids, and making our productivity and wealth possible, enough to get out of poverty?
Maybe today's parents got their own eyes googled out by the brain stimulation of their day.
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