Necroporn Week

Eeeewww. I did not need a big ole picture of a dead guy on the front of Newsweek. Gross. Much less the promise of there being more big pictures on the inside. Please, people, there are breakfasts to eat.

I'm starting to love how Mark Whittaker pimps the news. Well, not. But here's an example: "the church is confronted with new realities that will make age-old battles between reformers and conservatives more heated than ever." "(These folks) now must calculate how to keep the once dominant Sunnis from fueling an insurgency that could drive the country into civil war." It's like a promo for an upcoming Dynasty or a movie. All it needs is this guy to read it.

I still don't understand what they're trying to say in the "Blog Watch." And why can't they come up with blogs a little less common than Powerline or Atrios? Why don't they notice when I hate them?

There are a lot of pope funeral pics. Overkill? Maybe it was fairly slow, news-wise, in other respects. I hope it was, because I don't think the kissy picture of the Bushes is either a good picture or a good image for them. Making out while the pope is funeralized. Ew. And I hate to say it, but neither of them have lips, so it's like these two skinny skin extensions are coming out of Laura's mouth to latch onto GW's. I once broke up with a guy in part because he kissed like this and he had lips so there was no excuse. There were other reasons, but sometimes the camel's back doesn't need that straw.

"It seems fitting that Roosevelt, so elusive in life, remains enigmatic even in death."

"Those kinds of antics are controversial in Japan; promoters are betting he'll feel right at home in Vegas." (get it? Vegas, betting, betting, Vegas? So clever!)

"Clearly, his taste buds weren't permanently damaged."

"Let's tag this scheme 'promising.'"

"As the servant to all these servants, the next Bishop of Rome, whoever he is, will have to find enough room in his heart to embrace all factions, and somehow align those conflicting desires with the wishes of God."

"...the church's highest leader will command the loyalty of millions of Chinese Catholics — whether they worship openly in officially sanctioned cathedrals, or huddle by candlelight in the underground." (I love it when they describe a scenario they haven't witnessed nor gone out of their way to witness although it likely takes place)

"If Iraq's new government can find a way to earn his confidence, thousands of American soldiers will be more than ready to pack their bags."

"In these democratic times, the future of the Palestinian territories is in the hands of the voters, and they're getting impatient."

"And the one man who may know best so far isn't talking, except to those he invites to his restaurant for lunch."

"He didn't sound like he was spoiling for a fight — only like he expected to be the last man standing."

"Schwartzenegger vowed to push ahead with his reforms, but he's discovered that in politics, things rarely go according to script."

"For that, regulators may need more time in the gym."

Not a last sentence, but a strange declaration during a Mariah Carey interview by Lorraine Ali: "But there is one recurring theme that becomes a sort of buzzkill: cheating men. I'm never going to trust one again after listening to this CD!" Whuh?

"Welcome home, Mr. Washington."

"Knowing all that he knew, how else could he have written at all?"

"But after all these years of soap opera, public indifference could be a real blessing."

Wow. NW, you delivered. A whole paper bag full of pretentious dog crap. With a dead man's picture on the front. Gag.