You are the weirdest state of all. How do you manage to hold the rest of us states hostage time after time? Shall I count the ways? Elian. Voting madness 2000. Voting madness 2004. Terri Schiavo. I'm forgetting some stuff, aren't I?
Florida, take a chill pill. Just calm yourself down. Us reserved Pacific Northwesterners are tired of you.
What made you this way? Is it the retirees? The Cubans? The retired Cubans? The alligator wrasslers? DisneyWorld? I know it isn't the manatees.
Florida, be the manatee. Go back to chewing your cud underwater, lurking in the mangroves and avoiding alligators.
You are truly a hotbed of nutcases.
Florida, just chill out.
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