Well, I have to wonder what it says that the Virgin Mary is considered a suitable design for a check. Also her son.
I guess if you are rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar's, instead of using cash with Caesar's image, you might as well use a promissory note with Jesus' image. A promissory note from ... a bank.
In archaeology classes in elementary school they always said "people of the future will look at our money and think that these are our gods," but that was pretty ignorant, in my view. Why? Because inevitably they'd show slides of money from ancient history and the face was always that of the current ruler. Cleopatra, not Isis; Augustus, not Janus. The ancients made a pretty decent distinction between what was holy and what was commerce.
Apparently, modern America is not so good at making such a subtle distinction. Market forces = God's will. Which is a terrifying and truly cruel doctrine.
ETA: This country is so freaking wierd. I love it. I just checked out the most popular Bradford Exchange checks and the list includes: Thomas Kinkade's Lighthouses (puke), God Bless America w/Eagle patriotic checks (gag), Angel Kisses Inspirational checks (bleh), which are counterbalanced by "Spirit of the Wilderness" Wolf checks (egad) and "The Awakening" Native American checks which look like the cover of a romance novel except they're all white people's fantasy of pre-Columbian Native peoples. Also, on the non-Jesus and country side are the Lord of the Rings checks. Rounding out the non-spiritual check favorites are flowers (puke), Gone with the WInd ( but miz scahlett! I ain't know nuthin bout buthin no babies!), John Deere tractors (now THAT's a check I can get behind) and Yellow labs. Their owners must be the most ga-ga of the dog lovers. And some plain jane checks.
I'm considering these checks, for the record. As soon as I plow through about 400 Hawaiian-print themed ones I ordered last year. Which is tough to do when you have a debit card.
1 comment:
Your archeology teachers were half-correct. Future civilizations will look at our long-disused currency and – if they’ve half a brain – will know that the money itself, not the images it depicted, was our society’s true deity.
When they unearth, or thaw, or excavate Times Square, they’ll gasp in collegiate wonder: “This was their primary temple. Phone Professor Fuckface at once!”
Or maybe not.
I would take exception to your statement, though, that the ancients differentiated between the divine and secular market forces.
Most Roman coins were minted with the images of Caesar, but starting with Julius, successive Imperators were deified shortly after (sometimes before) their deaths. Other coins depicted gods, or the emperors as particular gods.
Lover of music to a fault, Nero was depicted on one coin as Apollo at the lyre. The phenomena of the God king, of course, predated Rome, as Hellenist kings were apt to deify themselves (think Antiochus in the temple), as were Egyptian monarchs.
But whatever in hell those ancient heathens did with themselves doesn’t change the fact that I’d be into some checks with the Virgin de Guadalupe on them. Or Caligula. Anything but puppies, Kinkaide, or Old Glory.
As for the Hello Kitty checks: a friend of mine, years ago, purchased himself a vibrator in the visage of said cartoon character, and that has pretty much tainted the eyes through which I look at Hello Kitty ever since.
-M/C
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