Today I either found the cardio machine of my dreams — the Precor EFX somenumber — or it is the most disappointing thing I've ever been on.
The lying, dirty-dealing, no-good machine told me that in the course of 65 minutes I burned nearly 1,200 calories in 4.5 (give or take) miles of running on medium resistance. I can't believe it. It's too good to be true.
Yet even knowing that fact was not enough to prevent me, during a routine trip to Safeway, from picking up some Easter candy — Hershey's dark chocolate eggs and a pack of Andes mints.
I did not, however, buy the Entenmann's chocolate fudge cake (the cake formerly known as the Devil's Food Cake but apparently these day's that's just too provocative a monikker for a freaking bakery product). Why is it that it's called Chocolate Fudge Cake here and in Arkansas? I don't see any notice on the internet (via Google) that the cake known to me as a sneaky, carb-loving elementary/middle school student is known as anything other than Devil's Food in the east coast; also that it has never been known as anything but Chocolate Fudge Cake anywhere else. I'm sure somebody would have made a stink about that on the internet somewhere. Or maybe not.
It's seriously the perfect cake. The really excellent part is where the thick icing meets the cake. It's extra-smooth and creamy there. That perfection is brought courtesy, I'm sure, of trans-fats.
Anyway, enough carb-obsession. Precor, I'm onto you, you deceiver.
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