Newsweek!
And if last week's Jesus cover made my face screw up you should see what happened when I saw Jack "Straight From the Gut" Welch on this week's cover. Frankly, I think there's a nice little dichotomy thing going on there. If it isn't the son of God being exploited it's the Fruit of Mammon.
God, Welch is perky. I wish I were that sassy.
Terri Schiavo has a bit of space on the cover today; I bet now that she died they're wishing they'd gone all out. Or maybe next week they'll have all those crying protestors inside. Also, I'm sure you've seen that picture on LiveJournal by now of "Chuck" holding the sign "We're All Idiots" over the protestors. Man that gave me a good laugh. If not, do yourself a favor and go to this site.
Mark Whittaker has a guy crush on Welch. Oh, man this is bad. "Welch embodies pure energy and passion for the art of leadership." "When you have a long, freewheeling conversation with Jack, as I was fortunate enough to do at a dinner not long ago ..." GET A ROOM!
And he's not done irritating me. Terri Schiavo: "personally distasteful to watch. Yet since it's a story we couldn't ignore..." you're NOT CLASSY. LIVE WITH IT. "Fareed Zakaria will host a new weekly show on PBS ..." Which is another sign that PBS can't stop sucking up to the retarded right.
Interesting photo "essay" with pics from some of baseball's now-famous steroid users' rookie cards. Man, Giambi and McGwire were some skinny dudes. I mean, really. Now, apparently, their rookie card prices have taken a hit. Props, Newsweek, for having an interesting and illuminating little photo feature.
Wow. The Schiavo protestors are even weirder than I thought. There are three women, big ole fat white women in Rascals (those scooters. Possibly they are hoverrounds) and one is holding a sign that says "This Agnostic Liberal says 'Thanks Pres. Bush.'" For what, exactly? Cozying up to the religious right by jumping a plane to get to DC then looking at poll numbers and backing off the Schiavo thing? You are wierd. Also your friend with the sign "Women Deserve the Right to EAT no matter how it is acheived." Yes, the right to eat. But not the right to die with dignity as per her wishes, as found by three guardian ad litems and numerous courts!
Speaking of Terri Schiavo, the most boundary-pushing of all Tragic Last Sentances occurs with hers. I mean, you saw that coming, but can you imagine a more moralistic, overly familiar, repugnant, wanna-be GI Joe TLS than this? "And for Terri, who struggled so mightily for control in her battle for her weight, there was only the terrible irony that, in the end, she had no control at all over the forces that warred over her fate."
More TLSs:
"The question is, given the public's distaste for Wall Street following the stock market bubble, will anyone care?"
"What's shaping up there is likely to be anything but pretty."
"And so, this thoughtful essay earns the top score."
"Her biggest talent is convincing readers she has."
"Let's hope the Men (and Women) in Black don't let that happen."
"If not, in a few years they'll be talking to the next group of commissioners who'll inevitably come knocking on the door."
"For him, Working for the Good of the Priesthood (all sic) means healing those wounds."
"It was a preview, it seems clear, of the doomsday coming to Red Lake."
"And that could mean Custer Battles and other companies will ultimately answer to no one."
"He might have been speaking for the sea."
"But he's still setting goals, and still stretching to reach them."
"As even Red Sox fans learned last year, sometimes spring dreams can come true."
"This time, they better stick around a while."
"Ishiguro pulls you under, even as youconvince yourself you're just going wading."
"And she sure knows how to clean her plate."
Fiona Apple looks like what Rory Gilmore would look like if she started smoking crack and faux tanning. Here's the TLS devoted to her: "The mystery's fun, but it's the music that matters."
"Now, wherever you go, you can breathe deeply before the big meeting."
OMG. Speaking again of celebrity fug, I do believe the shot of miss Paula Abdul is from the same night she was written up on Go Fug Yourself. She is wearing the peachy quadra-boob, armpit cleavage dress. The quadra boob looks particularly heinous from this new angle.
Ah, and it's over. Nighty night, NW.
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