This is an excerpt from an e-mail my mom sent me. I'm relating it because the world needs to know how hilarious my dad can be. Rest assured, ma, when dad has a heart attack, you're going to be the first to know. Wouldn't it be ironic if such a hypothetical heart attack were the only time in his life that my dad was ever stoic?
Anyway, four your entertainment:
"Thursday morning Ray woke up at exactly 3:46 clutching his chest on the left side and going OHHHHHHHHH! rather loudly--loud enough to wake me. I thought he was having a heart attack at first. He quickly pulled up his t-shirt and asked me what was on his chest. It was a HUGE,tick, richly engorged with blood, right under his left nipple. I think it had been there since the brush clearing business on Saturday. I got alcohol, tweezers, and dispatched it. He rolled over and went back to sleep. I decided to do some laundry. I was too awake by then. Ray really does have the most amazingly dramatic 'medical' emergencies."
I'm sorry to anyone who threw up a little conceptualizing my dad's nipple.
Speaking of medical emergencies, I think Jacko's starting to freak out. There's not enough Jesus juice in the world to make the prospect of spending time as a convicted child molester in the pen. No wonder he's got some back injury, and by that I mean delirium tremens.
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