If journalism was easy

Newsweek would do it.

That is how the sweatshirt of a minor character in "Rule of Four" read. So loving it. Too bad the rest of the book was uptight whitebread ivory tower wannabe pap. Which is why the NYT loved it. Me, not so much. I like my symbological thrillers to be proud of their cheese. Feel the cheese! Love the cheese!

So here is my weekly gripe against NW.

Is it just me or did they make an insanely unnecessarily graphic-looking piece of art so that it would be perfectly obvious it was graphic art and not a photograph? Should I wonder if they thought about using a photorealistic hand and dollar before going for the faux silkscreen effect? Eh. Whatevah.

Why I hate Mark Whitaker, editor, this week: He blathers on about Robert J. Samuelson, a crappy columnist with, if not an ideological bias, a deep-seated sense of anger and rage at all things kindly and gentle. Oh, spare me Mark Whitaker. Your flamboyant, overbearing praise is the sort that really only points to the complete undeservedness of it all by the object of said praise. Also, words like "ominous" and "stunning" are too powerful.

Periscope is quite demur today. The conventional wisdom blames Viagra and Jesus Juice this week. I blame the CW on the merits — or lack thereof — of its character.

The letters page, which on a typical day has both the best and worst prose in the whole thing, again has some of the worst. Matt Barnwell of Athens, Ga., a self-identified J-school student, criticizes NW's cover last week (martha) as enhancing the "credibility crisis journalists face today" and "how can I embark on a career to shine a light in the dark corners of the world" blah blah. Honey, just because you read Romenesko doesn't mean you should believe every word of it. NW won't relate to your job uncovering the dirty dealings of the municipal parks and rec committee at the Pittsahola Weekly FIshwrap.

Heinous last sentences:

"After all, a dog has to be only man's best friend — not the best looking."

"Now let's see if the blogosphere can self-organize itself to find them." (again, I'm not understanding the bug at the bottom of the page. I just don't understand the color scheme for the "buttons," I don't get why this is a good feature in a paper medium. It's just dorky.)

" 'God needed Daddy in heaven,' she explained recently. 'Well,' he replied, 'I needed him, too.' "

"The question is how much frank talk will help in a time of diplomacy."

"In the rematch, at least, Villaraigosa knows it."

"Regrettably, he was right."

"Until that pattern is broken, the lure for Euro-jihadists will persist — as will the risks for the rest of us."

"It's far from certain that America could do better."

"Still, there's not guarantee Washington will like the result."

"To paraphrase former Treasury secretary John Connally: the dollar may be America's currency, but it's the world's problem."

"And if you don't you have to make changes."

"A prison ministry sponsored by an evangelical church converted her."

"There may be millions of people looking for love online, but the loneliest hearts are the four-legged kind."

"You don't have to be reading the same book to be on the same page."

"They may be pushing the boundaries of architecture, but that doesn't mean their buildings can't be just plain beautiful."

"If she knows how dangerous idealism can be, she also knows the danger of living without it."

"Even if the happy couple has to make do with the fortune she already has, her prenup shold make The Donald's look like a grocery list."

Wow. NW did not disappoint with all the crummy, uptight last sentences.