Tacoma, I love you

One time when I was out on the town with some wild and crazy people we ended up at this seedy bar that I'll call Barb's and can be found on North Pearl and 26th St.

It was such a den of redneckiness that one of the men in our crew got propositioned in the bathroom by a trucker. This does not happen at finer establishments anywhere, even gay discos, because there are protocols for looking, I imagine, at the least for a private room. There were these old skanks and their golf-clothes wearing sugardaddies and the lot of them were swingers and they danced (to karaoke music, mind you) in a big conga line of inappropriate touching.

At that moment, one of the women in the party and myself cried out "I love Tacoma!" It is our ironic rallying cry.

Here are some "I love Tacoma" people I saw in a single trip to the Ruston waterfront:

A big black dude with his SUV doors and trunk popped open. The stereo was blasting Bob Marley and the Wailers' "Stir It Up," and the dude was in the driver seat, going to town with it on a flute in improvisational jazz mode.

A little old white dude was sitting at a table with his old white friends and, by his side, was a big long carved stick with a snake carved as though it were twining blockily around the staff. There was a kind of flint arrowhead or spike stuck in the top and a tufted ring of ermine fur sat on the top of the staff. A bypassing gal told a friend of hers he was going to cast some spells and they giggled. I had to restrain myself from asking if he was planning to do battle.

In previous trips to the waterfront, I have seen a guy with a pet raccoon (not his first! Apparently they get to be about 40 pounds and *mean* and you have to let them loose in the woods) and virtually every time I go there I see Roller man, who has this elaborate setup of poles and sweatbands and a boombox and these rollerskates you can push off your foot and pick up later in the dance routine he does but never completes because he inevitably knocks over a pole and has to pick it up instead of just finishing the routine.

Roller man, just finish the routine someday. We are all rooting for you to finish your roller dance.

Also, where did you get all those sweatbands?