Wednesday, February 09, 2005

You know whose freedom I hate?

That of rich people with cars that take up more than a lane's width that drive too slow.

That's who. Dangit, I'm late for "Lost!" Get out of my way! Some of us can't afford Tivo! I hate your freedom to be a slow-driving paranoid ninny.

If you are a man of a certain size, and your skin has lost a certain amount of elasticity, you might want to rethink your mock turtleneck. Any clingy knits, really. I hate your freedom to impose your saggy man-tas on me.

People who lean in too close with coffee breath. I hate your freedom to be ignorant to your need for a mint.

I discovered for about the 80th time today that I'm smarter than most of the people out there. I think it was more of a paradigm shift; before I thought they were just bound and determined to waste my time and pound their ideology. Now I honestly think they walk around in a perpetual fog, incapable of understanding that if A=B and B=C then A=C, incapable of making intuitive leaps of the most insignificant kind.

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